Chapter 22: Christmas carrots and champagne calamities

one of our sunflowers destined to become part of our sunflower and pumpkin seed bread next week

Christmas and New Years have come and gone. Santa's reindeer enjoyed one of our very best purple carrots, and to celebrate the end of a fantastic year we popped open our first bottle of mulberry wine. It tasted nothing like wine should, in fact it tasted more like a rough whiskey. The kind of hard liquor that burns a hole in your stomach and puts hair on your chest. Not sure what went wrong there. None the less, we awoke alive on the other side of 2011. Perhaps it would make a better cleaning agent for burnt bottomed saucepans, blocked drains, a pesticide or even a biofuel for running our car...

There are only 8 days to go before our Funky Frontyard Farmer's challenge begins, when we attempt to feed ourselves for a full week almost entirely on what we have grown from our suburban block. Nature, unfortunately does not always work to such deadlines, and some things have not quite gone to plan. Last year we bagged at least 5kg of mulberries, our freezer and our children could not possibly fit in another single mulberry. This year, due either to the ridiculous amount of rain and lack of sunshine or our neighbours hacking off a major limb of the tree last year, we have experienced a mulberry famine, having picked less then a measly handful; Joe is berry upset.
Day after day Joe has been crawling around on the shed roof amongst the mulberry leaves, searching for any sign of new growth. It is one thing seeing your grown man climb a mulberry tree, it is altogether another thing to hear a grown man sobbing in a mulberry tree. Oh well, our mulberry tarts and smoothies for the challenge will simply have to be struck off the menu. On the upside, it means that we wont be able to make any mulberry wine this season. Shucks!

Joe's lamenting has extended beyond the mulberry tree and he also wanders forlornly amongst the citrus orchard, which is months away from fruiting. He sighs as he passes the green grapes, potatoes and capsicum, none of which are likely to be ready for the challenge. And yet there is still hope, the tomatoes have just started to turn red, the beetroots, carrots, pumpkins and zucchinis are all doing wonderfully, and the silverbeet is promising to be a staple... it makes a delicious topping on toast, lightly pan fried with fresh mushrooms, garlic, white wine, olive oil and a squeeze of lemon.



Turk's turban pumpkin's - coolest pumpkins in the patch

 Needless to say we are all feeling rather nervous about the success of our challenge but have defiantly chosen to press on, if only for the sake of loosing those Christmas kilos.

 Cash Crop - Off to Market
About a month ago, G took it upon herself to plant all of our silverbeet in the herb bed. Consequently, we have had so much silverbeet growing in our garden we can't eat it quickly enough. Even the chooks are over it. So, with too much Silverbeet to eat, Jo and I decided to head off to the Glenbrook markets and try our luck at selling it at a local produce market stall.

Our silverbeet was a success! With 6 big bunches to sell at $1 a bunch, we had sold 3 bunches before even reaching the stall. Wow! 3 bucks! Like they all say, its not about the money, although N and G oogled over our 3 gold coins with amazement that their parents were able to make money so easily.



Mushroom Success

A few weeks ago we decided to try our hand at growing mushrooms. We bought a mushroom kit from the local nursery and set it up in the garage where it is dark and cool. We have tried it in the past with no success, but this time, we have had excellent results, having already harvested 30 or more mushies, with plenty more to come.

Of course, with this recent success, Joe has plans to turn the garage into a boutique mushroom farm, having heard rumours that you can grow mushrooms from spent mushroom compost from industrial mushroom farms. After a spot of research, Joe has located a mushroom farm only 10 minutes away in an abandoned railway tunnel. stay tuned.



our home grown mushhies and silverbeet



breakfast, yum!



if your children won't eat their vegetables, lie to them...we told ours they were ice creams.

 Lavender Champagne - Part 2

4 lavender champagne bottles, sitting in the garage. 4 lavender champagne bottles, sitting in the garage. And if one lavender champagne bottle should accidentally explode, there'd be 3 lavender champagne bottles sitting in the garage...



Jo bottling the champ's


The Lavender champagne taste test opened with a bang last week. After one bottle exploded 3 days after being bottled, we were trepidatious in opening our homemade champs. The first 2 bottles were a little flat and tasted too sweet (too much sugar added - should have stuck to the recipe). But our last bottle went off with an impressive bang! So impressive in fact, that there is a dent in the ceiling and champagne still all over the roof. I guess we'll never know how good that last bottle would have tasted so we have deceided to make it again to find out.

Next week our challenge begins on Sunday the 9th January, and ends with a funky frontyard party on the following Saturday. We aim to post a blog each day of the challenge to let you know how things go.Stay tuned to read all about our challenge week and an exciting funky frontyard farmers finale announcement.  

chapter 21: 10 places to hide a goat

 During the week we made home-made cheese. Not only was it easy to make but it was even easier to eat, and we would like to share the recipe with you. Tasting very similar to fresh ricotta, it was made simply with lemons and full cream milk. It was light, creamy and it melted in our mouths, yet it also caused my husband to start acting strangely.

At first, Joe sat quietly on the couch in a brown study. next minute, I saw him outside with his measuring tape, then back indoors and on the laptop. He was up to something. Outside again pacing out the length of the back shed, then the car port, garage, and finally the chicken pen, before rubbing his hands together with seeming delight, and a big dirty grin.

"Darling, what are you up to?" I enquired. At first, Joe seemed sheepish... but on closer inspection, I realised my husband looked far more goatish!

"No way! we are not getting a goat!"

Joe paused to muster the most convincing rebuttal he could conjure whilst pretending to scrape chook poo from his boot. "But darling, it could live in here with the chickens, no one would have to know a thing about it. We could feed it silverbeet and lettuce from the garden, and any clothes that the children no longer fit into. And best of all, we can make more cheese!!!"

"So they eat clothes?" I queried.

"They eat anything!" He said.

Sufficed to say, as this conversation took place directly beneath my low hanging clothes line, I remained even less convinced.

"We are not getting a goat".

How to make cheese

Heat 2 litres of milk to approx 90 degrees, or a rolling boil (not bubbling). Make sure you keep stirring so as not to burn the milk. When heated remove from heat and immediately, but slowly add 5/6 tablespoons of fresh lemon juice (We actually used limes). Continue to stir slowly in one direction, and you will begin to notice the milk separating into curds (the lumps) and whey. Continue to stir for about a minute then cover and leave to cool for 2 hours.

After 2 hours, strain the curds and whey through muslin (like a baby wrap) or cheese cloth over a colander. The curds will remain and the whey can be discarded. Hang the cheese in the muslin over a sink to drain completely for another 3 hours.

Now it is ready for a taste test. Yum! You can season with salt, or for that matter anything sweet or savoury to your liking'. This recipe makes a ball of cheese about the size of a shot put, but not as heavy.



If you don't eat it all at once, refrigerate it in an air tight container. It lasts 4 or so days.

We used our cheese in salads and will be making more in a week or so to make stuffed zucchini flowers.



Lavender Champagne (part 1)

lovely bug adding to the mix



Steve spoons in the vinegar

Another little home-made number we had a go at this week was lavender champagne. We got the initial idea from an elderflower champagne recipe but being short of the key ingredient and after some research we found that lavender could make a good substitute.

A bit of bubbly is an essential for any celebration, and with our FFFC now only weeks away we needed a summer time champs to pop at the end of our challenge.

It only takes a few weeks to brew lavender champagne and so it was exactly what we needed. We're not sure if it will work or how it will taste but we are hoping when we pop our first bottle it conjures memories of long lost summers and searches for cicada shells but most of all we want to make sure it is alcoholic! This is why we decided to add more than the recommended amount of sugar, even though there is a strong chance that the bottles may explode due to the pressure. Its a risk we're willing to take.

Champagne anyone?

Lavender Champagne Recipe

Ingredients
100 lavender flowers
2 lemons
600 grams white sugar
250 grams sultanas
6 tablespoons of white wine vinegar
6 litres of water
1/4 teaspoon champagne/all purpose wine yeast

Remove the lavender flowers from the stems. Grate the zest of two lemons. Finely dice sultanas and mix all three ingredients together in a bole. Boil 1 litre of water, pour into a large bucket or tub (we used a carboy). Add sugar, lavender, lemon zest and sultanas and stir until sugar is dissolved. Add the juice of 2 lemons and white wine vinegar. Then add a further 5 litres of water and allow to cool until temperature is below 30 degrees. Add yeast, gently stir it in and cover with muslin wrap or carboy lid and airlock.
 Leave for 7 days at room temp then strain liquid into sterilised bottles and cap. The bottles need to be airtight. You could cork the bottles or simply use what we are using, clip lock glass bottles. Store for  a further 2 weeks. Taste and enjoy!

At least that is our plan. At the moment ours is still fermenting in the carboy. We intend to btle it  tomorrow and will let you know how it goes.

Last blog we said we were going to mull over our mulberries, intending to make something delicious from our multitudes of mulberries. Unfortunately our mulberries haven't quite come to the party yet but stay tuned. Instead we are going to take you right back to the birds and the bees and chat about hand-pollinating zucchinis.


pollinating Zucchinis and Pumpkins

 Our zucchinis are well and truly doing their thing and have produced nothing short of very eager flowers just sitting there waiting for Joe and his little paint brush to come pollinate them each morning. Zucchini's, pumpkins and other similar plants of the gourd variety have male and female flowers. In order to bear fruit, pollen from a male flower must travel to a female flower for pollination to occur, and thew fruit to grow. Usually the bees will do this for you, but as they have recently been dropping dead due to excessive mobile phone microwaves (at least that's what the communists want you to think), you may have to do it yourself to get results.

our Turk's Turban pumpkins successfully taking over the yard:)

You will need:

1 paint brush (Soft)

1 sunny morning

to be able to tell male and female flowers apart.

Its actually very simple. female flowers have a bulbous miniature fruit at their base, while the male flowers stand on a long thin stem. inside the male flower is the stamen, which is covered in pollen (when the flower is mature). take a brush and carefully collect some pollen on the end. (choose the strongest, sexiest male flower you can find).  Then transfer the pollen to the female flower, brushing it on the claw looking pod (pistil) in the centre of the open flower.

pollen from a male flower

You will know if the pollination is successful when the fruit bulb starts to swell after a few days. if the female fruit pod turns yellow and shrivels, then unfortunately, its an old spinster.


Time to get busy in the pumpkin patch with your paint brushes.