chapter 13: descent from domestic goddess to jam lunatic

I know... where on earth have we been? It seems that no amount of excuses can possibly suffice for our apparent hibernation, and no excuses will be given. All you really need to know is that we are back, and ready to talk all things jam, luna cycles and why Joe won't be eating snails afterall.

Jam
Like any good domestic goddess, I can be forgiven for toying with the idea of using my many lazy hours about the house to produce a little home made jam, as an expression of my love and appreciation for neighbours, family and of course my dear husband. With the children playing quietlty in the garden, of course, I slipped on my appron, put down my martini, and liesurely set about wipping up my very first batch of home made (organic, of course darlings) grapefruit, lemon and orange marmalade... Perhaps I'll even open up a little jam store in my spare time. I mean how hard could it be???

My goodness, I am never doing that again! After plucking 14 grapefruits, 4 oranges and 2 lemons from our trees, I set about grating off  all the rind (and part of my knuckle). Then I had to peel off the stupid white bit between the skin and the fruit, and finally cut the fruit up into cubes. TZhe citric acid from all the juice on my cut finger, made me less and less goddess like by the second, and by the time I put the diced fruit into the simmering water I was cursing and sweating like Gordon Ramsey in an Aldi's shopping line with two kids. 

Once simmering, I composed myself, added the rind, and decided to taste test the fruit of my labour. It was disgusting...and tasted more like a new form of bio-fuel than a perky marmalade should. So over a period of 2 hours I added 2 kg of sugar. It tasted much better... well it tasted edible, and I was sick of making jam by this stage.

Meanwhile I sterilized 15 jars by boiling them in water, before removing them with tongs, and lining them up in anticipation of my almost deliciously semi-edible jam.  When the time had come to spoon in my marmalade delight, I couldnt believe that it only filled five jars... actually 4 and 3/4 jars... 3 and a half stupid hours later. one for joe, one for dad, one for Joe's sister and my neighbour (because I bragged to them about how I was soon to be a Jam queen), and the 3/4 full jar I am selling on ebay. 

Never ever, will I make jam again... and if joe cant make wine from the grapefruits, I will cut the tree down myself. 

would you like to see a photo?

The Garden
On a brighter front, things are improving in the garden. We have had a successful crop of sweet potato which taste delicious and we are now the proud owners of two planted apple trees. They are both dwarf varieties, an 'Abas' (which is a universal pollinator) and a 'Jonathon'. At the moment they are three feet tall and won't bare fruit for a few more years but we have dreamy notions of one day in the future and saying to the kids, 'run along dears to the pear and apple orchard and collect some fruit...mummy thinks she might do some preserving' (I'm also thinking about planting a martini tree).

Moon Planting
We have also been looking into moon planting. Moon planting is a method whereby certain varieties of fruit or vegetables are planted in unison with the cycle of the moon. Like any sensible person I too was suspicious as soon as I saw the word lunar. Initially I expected I would have to perform midnight rituals such as howling at my broadbeans or dancing around the greenhouse whilst Venus alligned with Uranus and the neighbours quickly pulled their blinds closed...jo was terrified of the possible repercussions of yet another of my new found interests.

Thankfully, there is a rationally scientific explanation for moon planting. Throughout the lunar cycle the moon varies in its gravitational pull towards the Earth which directly effects water (e.g. the tides). During a 'waxing moon' (new moon to full moon) the gravitaional pull increases, drawing water in the soil upward, this promotes upward growth in plants. As the moon wanes (full moon to new moon) the gravitional pull also wanes, drawing more water downward towards the roots, therefore promoting root growth.

In short there are four stages in the lunar cycle. From the New moon to when the moon is half full is known as the 'first quarter'. During the first quarter plant 'leaf' vegetables (such as lettuce, cabbage and pak choy). The second quarter (from the half moon to the full moon) is the time to plant anything that fruits above the ground (such as tomatoes, pumpkins, zucchini and strawberries). The third quarter (from the full moon to the half moon) is a time to plant 'root' vegetables (potatoes, parsnips, beetroot, garlic and carrots). The forth quarter from the half moon to the new moon is a resting period, avoid planting during this time, instead mulch, prune or transplant. 

We are by no means lunar gurus but are going to give moon planting a try and see if it makes a difference to the garden.

Here is a chart of this month's moon planting:

Many thanks to all those who took part in our recent poll as to whether or not Joe should prepare snails for eating. Whilst the votes were overwhelmingly in the positive, after the recent headline news of a man contracting a rare form of meningitis after eating a slug?! for a $10 bet I have made the executive decision that no snails will be harmed in the making of this blog (except for all the ones we stomp on).

Green grubs

Last of all to all those who want to know how to get rid of the green grubs that turn into white cabbage butterflies, we have a break through. Since our last blog Joe trialled spray-on vegetable oil, normally used for cooking. Simply spray it on to your affected plants and laugh despotically. The oil suffocates the grubs...hooooheeee ha ha ha haaaaa.

Next week we attempt to install revamp and install a second hand fire place combustion heater that we purchased on ebay, before we feeze to death.

Chapter 12: Greenhouses, Recipes and Exploding Butterflies.

Chapter 12: Greenhouses, Recipes and Exploding Butterflies.

It was a sweltering 43 degrees here today and as the sweaty stench of newly laid cow manure permeated our t-shirts, there in the palpable humidity, time seemingly stood still as Jo and I shared a blissful moment of gardening satisfaction. We were standing inside our brand new greenhouse. Out there, beyond our plastic see through veneer, in the real world it was a mild 22 degrees and although it was tempting to savor the moment inside the greenhouse, if we had stayed in any longer, we risked fainting and collapsing in cow manure. It was hard to make out the expressions on our neighbours faces through the foggy poo condensation on the plastic walls but we are fairly certain they were looks of pure jealousy. That's right, we have a greenhouse and now we can grow tomatoes all year round.

A few weeks ago we took a trip to Bunnings and bought some lengths of pine and a roll of heavy-duty plastic for about $50. We have spent the last couple of weekends sawing and nailing the frame together, finishing with a lick of paint and attaching the plastic sheeting. We designed it so that the roof is detachable and can be rotated to allow for ventilation on warmer days and we left a sheet of the plastic detached from the sides for a door. It is tall enough to stand in and the base is 1m squared. The greenhouse is easily moved to where it is needed and currently we have it on top of one of our veggie patches in the front yard.

 After digging in two new bags of manure and mulch today we will let the bed lie for a week or two before planting tomatoes and basil as a test run.

Drying Rack

We have also been busy building a drying rack to dry flowers and fruits from the garden for preserving and storing. The idea was inspired when we stumbled across some recipes for making wine from flowers. You may remember that we were planning on making elderflower champagne, however, after a little research, we found that elderflowers actually grow on enormous trees, so we searched for alternatives. We came across several other recipes for making wines from flowers including hibiscus. As we have two hibiscus bushes in full bloom at the moment, we've been drying as many flowers as we can.

Flower wines
The recipe requires around 60 grams of dried hibiscus flowers to make about 4 bottles of wine. Rather than letting them simply shrivel in the sun, we decided to do the right thing and turn them into something everyone can enjoy... wine. There are plenty of other flowers that can be used for wine making, including sunflowers, lavender, marigolds, pansies, orange blossoms, daisies and many many more. Its also a novel way to make your own blends of unique teas for your next tea party. The wine takes at least 6-12 months to mature in the bottle.

Here is a pic of our drying rack suspended in the shade of our carport to maximise air flow. It is basically two frames with fly screen strtched over top and bottom and hinges to allow it to open.

Butterflies & Possums attack
But dear readers, not all has been rosey in the garden.

Picture this:

You wake up to a beautiful Autumn Saturday morning, sipping on your coffee in your bath robe and slippers as you draw back the blinds to let in the streams of morning sunlight. All seems peaceful...you can even forget about those oddballs across the street with vege gardens and that bloody new greenhouse. Not to mention that smell...what the hell is that smell? Surely they don't own a cow?!

And then you see him.

Tiptoeing pensively, staring upwards at the sky again,  holding that squash racquet above his head. "Darling, quick, it's our oddball neighbour again...the one with the greenhouse...he's swinging at the air with that racquet again and running all over his front yard...oh wait his wife has come out now, and she has a racquet too... what the hell are they doing?! Dont ever speak to them again!!!"

At least that's what we imagine our neighbours must say about Joe's new hobby. Lately, we have been inundated with a plague of white cabbage butterflies. The Green grub lavae have devoured all of our Pak-choy, swedes, and brussel sprouts, leading us to wage war on them. We struck upon the idea of swatting butterflies with tennis racquets as a arguably humane and organic alternative to pesticides... but more importantly, its so much fun. The only problem is that while we are having a great time swatting little butterflies, and cheering as they explode in delicate puffs of white, our neighbours across the way don't see them, only us, swinging racquets at thin air.
It was initially hard to pluck up the courage to swat openly infront of prying neighbours, but we figured that if you can stop for council pick up, you can shamlessly swat butterflies in your front yard too!

The little buggers have really made a mess of things, and set us back in our produce plans. We have also been waging an offensive on the ground, hand picking the grubs off what is left of our greens, and spraying them with garlic, chilli and soap spray.  We will aslo trial a vegetable oil spray, and let you know how it goes.

To add insult to injury, the local possums have either sat on or devoured all of the foliage from our new avocado tree, countless beans and the potatoes that were growing oh so well in potato bags. The potato leaves are supposedly poisonous, but this does not seem to deter them, we can only hope that it has given them a bad bout of gas. As a result, we will have to net our potato crop and start again.

Our potato plants a few  weeks ago before the possum attack......................and our potato plants now.

At this time of year the possums are extra hungry with the onset of winter. They will eat everything. Last year they ate every leaf off our chilli bush, and then the chillies, basil, lettuce, and anything that wasn't netted. In Spring, you can get away with planting a few things in the open. Winter is a different story.

Whats on the menu?
Something else that our obese possums may be interested in is some of our garden recipe ideas for our FFFC week. Jo and I have set about planning possible menu items that could be prepared using only garden produce and our extra items (flour, oil, coffee and milk).

Here are some of our favourite menu munchables.

for entrees:
Lets start with chilled potato and leek soup.
Sweet potato wedges with citrus and chilli marmalade.
Escargo, sauteed in parsley garlic and home made champagne. (See online poll).


for mains:
Gnocchi with roasted baby beetroots and basil pesto.
Home grown mezze platter; grilled capsicum and zuchinni, hommus, flat bread, fallafel, and dolmades made with vine leaves and bean stuffing.

Spicey Lentil burgers with cool mint and sliced cucumber.

Home made pasta with cherry tomatoes, basil and chilli.

Poached eggs with roast tomatoes, rocket and herbed flat bread.

and for desserts:

Macadamia and blackberry tarts, served with homemade lavender icecream.

Sweet pumpkin pie.

Lemon sorbet & Mulberry crepes.

Yummmmmmm....

Let's not forget a fine selection of home made mulberry wine, beers, flower champagnes, teas and Aldi's Brazilia coffee.

LLLLLLLivin' the high life.

Next week, we are going to talk about the theories behind Moon planting and our first attempt at making citrus jams from our grapefruits, oranges, and lemons. Also we will be preserving some of our summer herbs before the frosts, or possums, get them first.

N and G dressed up as scarecrows one morning to do their bit for keeping white butterflies out of the garden. N even put vegemite on his nose!??? A scarecrow tactic supposedly.

Lastly, dont forget to vote in our poll. In short, should Joe capture and prepare some of our healthy garden snails to trial a swish escargot dish? The verdict now lies in your hands. I won't be eating them though...

                 P.s. thanks to those of you who have given us feedback this week. Our highly coveted honorable reader of the week award, for starting not one, but four veggie gardens and an orchard, goes to Hayley! Hide your avocado tree from the natives, lest it suffers a simlar fate.

 cheerio gang.